We have all heard and maybe used the phrase, "they are just doing that for attention". It can apply to anyone. However, I have a problem with the way people dismiss their children's behavior by saying this.
My biggest problem is that if parents recognize that their children do a certain behavior for "attention" they should take that as a sign that their child's needs are not being met. There is nothing wrong with anyone wanting attention. We all do. Often, the problem comes with how people go about getting that attention when their needs are not being met.
We might not be able to do much about a friend's outrageous behavior. We can do something about our child's. Maybe we think that we ARE giving them attention. Every personality is different. Sometimes it can be difficult to clue into just what our unique child is needing.
That is our obligation though. We have to try to figure that out.
How we respond is crucial for our child's development. If any of us think back to our own childhood, we could all pinpoint some instances when we felt our parents failed us. It could be a small thing.
My sister and I were six years apart. Needless to say, we weren't very good playmates. We lived on a farm so there were no neighborhood friends. I was alone a lot. My mom was not the type of mom to take us to activities or play dates. So, I craved someone to just play with me. Children need that.
I would beg my mom to just play a game with me. She would always have an excuse. It was a constant source of disappointment. So, when my children ask me to do things like that, I think back to my own feelings as a child. Regardless of how I feel, I will try to do something with them.
We really have to try to tune into our children and truly get to know them as individuals. Their needs may not be the same as ours. If they are displaying "attention-seeking" behavior, that's our cue to do something. That is their way of trying to get their needs met.
Our children are entitled to our attention. There is absolutely nothing wrong with needing attention. I know I do.
My biggest problem is that if parents recognize that their children do a certain behavior for "attention" they should take that as a sign that their child's needs are not being met. There is nothing wrong with anyone wanting attention. We all do. Often, the problem comes with how people go about getting that attention when their needs are not being met.
We might not be able to do much about a friend's outrageous behavior. We can do something about our child's. Maybe we think that we ARE giving them attention. Every personality is different. Sometimes it can be difficult to clue into just what our unique child is needing.
That is our obligation though. We have to try to figure that out.
How we respond is crucial for our child's development. If any of us think back to our own childhood, we could all pinpoint some instances when we felt our parents failed us. It could be a small thing.
My sister and I were six years apart. Needless to say, we weren't very good playmates. We lived on a farm so there were no neighborhood friends. I was alone a lot. My mom was not the type of mom to take us to activities or play dates. So, I craved someone to just play with me. Children need that.
I would beg my mom to just play a game with me. She would always have an excuse. It was a constant source of disappointment. So, when my children ask me to do things like that, I think back to my own feelings as a child. Regardless of how I feel, I will try to do something with them.
We really have to try to tune into our children and truly get to know them as individuals. Their needs may not be the same as ours. If they are displaying "attention-seeking" behavior, that's our cue to do something. That is their way of trying to get their needs met.
Our children are entitled to our attention. There is absolutely nothing wrong with needing attention. I know I do.
RSS Feed
